Lonely in the crowd.

Today was that day. There is a guy in my classroom who talks to me and this text is maybe about him. I'm not going to write his name here so we will call him Blowfish. When this semester began, I was alone. Literally. My friends and I weren't in the same classes, so I was (and still am) going to the classes ALONE. And sitting ALONE. And staying ALONE. I didn't talk to anyone. Everybody in those classes has their friends and I was the only one (that I know) whose friends weren't there. Okay. That's fine. But I wanted to talk to someone. So Blowfish talked to me. I have already studied with him, but we didn't talk that time. I don't know if he just was talking to me because I was alone and he wanted to be nice or if he wanted to be my friend. The fact is: he has his friends. And despite the fact he sometimes talks to me, he stays with his friends and I feel lonely again. Today he was seated in front of me and I wanted to call him and talk to him, but I had no courage to do that. And one more time, I felt alone. I was seated in the middle of the crowded class and I was alone.

Today I realized that I have no friends. I mean, I have friends, but I don't feel comfortable with them anymore. I want new friends, but Everybody has their friends and I can't just join them. My actual friends annoy me. I can't get rid of them because I don't have others. I have to stay with the same annoying friends. This is not an option.