High

I'm high right now.

I'm thinking about everything. It is funny how the drug can make you see and analyze your life in seconds.

I was wondering who would be standing right by my coffin if I was dead. My family? Which friends? Would he be there?

I'm not thinking in try to kill myself again. I promise. I was just trying to see the impact of my death.

Today I got a headache. This is why I'm high. I took some pills. I was listening to Enya and crying on my bed, wishing someone to hug me during my painful moments. 

I'm a shit. I see my friends being successful in college, love, jobs and lots of things and I'm chained in the misery and sadness. I'll never be good enough to be something. I'll never become someone important or special to anyone.

I'll just die and be forgotten.

I know it.